toritheestallion:

me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors

weirddyke:

can someone hand rachel weisz the deed to my pussy

n7c:

send me a 🔮 and ill kin assign u a random object from my room